That’s right, a paddle. Lightly used. OK, not that lightly used. Not used on that many people, OK? Mostly just my ex’s bottom. And a bit on mine. I tried using it on a really freaky girl a few weeks ago, and that was it – the magic was gone. There was nothing there. I thought paddles were exempt from the typical breakup toy uselessness, but I was terribly mistaken. This thing is dead to me.

However, you can make my loss your gain! Seriously, despite my crippling emotional detachment from this paddle and my tendency to replace intimacy with alcohol, I can tell you this is one heck of a paddle.

It is made out of genuine 100% leather, and features beginner (smooth) and intermediate (studded) sides. It fits nicely in your hand, has a nice swing to it, and makes a wonderful sound in either beginner or intermediate modes.

Looking for anything fun, funny, or random. I’m thinking I’ll drop this thing off somewhere pre-determined, you can pick it up, and leave whatever we decide to barter for. Quite frankly this whole thing is a little creepy and weird. And awesome.